Toronto Feminists


So here I am, out for beers with a buddy. He’s anticipating a return to dating after 7 years away. So he says, “I hope I can find a girl who likes sex.” And I says, “Girls like sex. Shouldn’t be hard.” And he says, “Yeah well, maybe you do, but in general women don’t like sex as much as men do.”

Flattered as I am to think I may be more randy than most, I think my friend here is doing the girl-world a disservice. I mean, chime in if you think there’s something to what he’s saying. I bet, though, most of youse are saying he must not be doing it right – am I right? So it’s difficult. I mean, nobody gives these poor guys or us gals bonking lessons, and it’s not easy on the ego to think you need ’em. And on the other hand, places like Good for Her or Come As You Are are catering to just that kind of thing these days, and I think as a friend but not a girlfriend I’m in a great place to send him along to them, and maybe down the line I’ll have done the girl-world a big favour by sending my well-trained buddy out into it.

So, I guess I’d just like to hear what youse hafta say on the subject.



Written by torontofeminists

November 20, 2007 at 9:38 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

2 Responses

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  1. I’ve heard that from men before ‘women don’t like sex’ and my response is definitely a tart ‘well, you can’t be doing it very well then’. There seems to be this male desire to find women who want sex but when they actually get a woman who enjoys herself in bed and knows what she wants, the reaction is sometimes fear that they won’t be able to keep up with or satisfy a sexual woman. I’ve had this happen to me a couple of times and it inevitably makes me feel instantly like I’ve done something wrong or should be ashamed of such ‘unwomanly’ behaviour because I’m not supposed to want it as much, it’s supposed to be something I give into grudgingly after being persuaded by my partner??!!! These feelings go away as soon as my brain kicks in but it bothers me that this is still out there.

    I’m sure there are women out there who truly are not interested in sex, but aside from illness or med side effects I would wager these women aren’t as interested in sex because they’re not getting good sex.

    I think as a friend you’re in a great place to tell your bud about places like ‘Good for Her’ and maybe help him realize that women like sex as much as men if it’s rewarding for both participants. Then send him out into the 10th ring of hell Dante forgot about, called “Dating” šŸ˜‰


    November 20, 2007 at 11:55 pm

  2. That men enjoy sex more than women is one myth amongst many that circulate and I feel are perpetuated by porn itself, which aims at displaying women as victims rather than ones doing the aggressive initating/foreplay.


    December 11, 2007 at 9:21 pm

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