Toronto Feminists

More rules for women

It’s possible that I just haven’t had enough coffee this morning, but this column in the Globe really irks me.  Giving older women a version of ‘The Rules’ is not just offensive to older women but manages to slam all younger women as heartless, marriage-hungry skanks:

Act your age. Younger women have their youth. You have your humanity. “If you’re not most human at 40, 45, 50, you will never be human,” observes a male acquaintance in his 50s. “Younger women are sperm foraging. With older women, you hope for a heart. You hope that they have been disillusioned by power, as you have been, if you are self-aware. To meet an older woman with those attributes is like sitting in a broken-in seat in a car. New leather is slippery. But a broken-in seat, well, there’s nothing more comfortable and nothing more personal.”

Ah, there’s nothing so charming as being compared to a broken-in car seat! There are even tips on what hair colours are acceptable to men… unfreakin’ believable!  And of course Ladies, remember your place:

Just because you’re accomplished, do not take control of the dating ritual. You may be used to making things happen in your family life and your professional life, but this is one area where you must remain passive.

“The stalker,” shudders a man, remembering the experience of one.

“A lot of women who are over 40 are so desperate, they become too pro-active,” says Ms. Schneider, weighing in on the subject. “They have money, and they want to be powerful in a relationship. But it’s about letting the men pursue you. That’s your power.”

You know what…I better go get some coffee before I have an apoplectic fit. 



Written by outdoorsgrrl

November 29, 2007 at 3:19 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

3 Responses

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  1. In this context, those quotes make my skin crawl, but it freaks me out just as much that if I read the article first-hand, I might have just rolled with it. Spooooooky.


    December 1, 2007 at 5:37 am

  2. I read it a few times because I was wondering if I was reading too much into it, but I’ve read this column before though and while I think there is a lot of humour going on I just couldn’t help but get pissed over this one. What probably set me off was the promise of a sequel column next week that would tell these women what to expect or look for in older men..where’s the column telling MEN what not to do? Clearly it’s just the women who are doing things wrong and expecting too much…


    December 1, 2007 at 2:57 pm

  3. Of course, for the most part, men don’t want a column telling them what to do, whereas a lot of women eat it up…

    I seem to remember sitting in a certain cafe, discussing whether it would be unpalatable to our dates to identify ourselves as feminists. The doubt is planted right in there, in our minds, isn’t it? That maybe if we don’t play by ‘rules’ we won’t get laid, have relationships, be popular, etc. And can we honestly retort that it’s unfounded?

    Hold on a sec – I’m an unabashed feminist, and in a hot longterm thingy, in which I’ve hardly been a passive rules-bound flower – I think maybe it IS unfounded!


    December 3, 2007 at 2:32 am

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